Branson, Missouri is like Las Vegas for old people, minus the casinos. There is some weird stuff in the place. But, I know you must be wondering what I did there. The suspense is killing you. I can tell.
Wakeboarding: I don't know if what I did can technically be construed as wakeboarding, but I tried. It was more like me faceplanting myself into the water repeatedly. I can't do it, but I know how. Maybe I'll write a book about it. Well, maybe after I regain the usage of my limbs that the wakeboarding so violently stole.
Pool: Ben and I did lots of swimming and hottubbing and getting our drink on. We pretty much polished off a giant bottle of wine while stewing in that hot water. Once, we went to the front desk at the pool to ask for a plastic cup to split up our wine. Ben sets the very large plastic cup we already have on the counter and asks the guy working there for a plastic cup. The guy says "That's a plastic cup." Ben replies, "Oh, really. I want another one."
The Ten Commandments: On the way home, we passed God and Country Inspirational Gardens, and there was a man power-washing 10 foot Ten Commandments.
Mennonites: I didn't see any, and I'm pissed. I did see some sign with horses and buggies that said "Share the Road."
Sunburn: I am very toasty and pink. At the kitchen supply store, Ben pushed cookie cutters onto my chest to make little white Stars of David and hearts.
Go-Karts: Go-Karting would be much more enjoyabe if they didn't allow twelve year-old boys to do it too. The second time we went was much more enjoyable though. It could have been those margaritas we drank before going. Too bad they don't let you drink with one hand and drive with the other.
Shopping: I got jeans for $7.
Pirate joke: How much does a hook and a peg-leg cost? An arm and a leg.
Miniature horse: On the way home, Ben and I saw a miniature horse. Ben asked "What the hell is that?" and I said, "It's a miniature horse." It was just hanging out in someone's front yard like it was their dog or something. There was no fence to contain it.
There are some great
ReplyDeleteBranson shows to see! One of my favorites was the Shoji.