I like Mad Libs, so therefore today this entry shall be my own little Mad Lib. I shall make a random story in which I insert the humorous anecdotes of my day. Here we go; let's hope this works out well.
*Note: this story with definitely be about pirates...and ninjas (who are not as good as pirates)...and tacos.
Un dia, the scurvy pirate Jirr Peckingsparrows* (it's only right I star in my story) was on board her pirate ship Truancy, because Jirr and co-Capitan Raquel thought it a good idea to skip class and sail the sea/eat breakfast that day. On board, Jirr decides to divulge all her earthly secrets to Raquel. "You know, the ocean is huge.**"
"I am aware, Jirr," Raquel tells her. "Where are we?"
"I don't know where the hell we are. In the ocean,**" Jirr replied. "Now, let me get back to my secrets." Jirr went on to tell Raquel all about her fear of cows and fancy ladies and her dreams of being the first pirate documentary filmmaker.
"You could make a documentary about the ocean, you know. A real life Jaws," suggested Raquel.
"Steven Spielberg often both frustrates and fascinates me,**" Jirr said.
Suddenly, a boat of rogue ninjas approached the Truancy. The ninjas sailed up next to the ship and boarded it. The head ninja asked, "Where are the tacos?"
The tacos? How did the ninjas know about Jirr and Raquel's secret taco stash? They had never told a soul. Perhaps the ninjas were just bluffing and asking for the tacos was a lucky guess. It seemed unlikely that the ninjas knew anything, being stupid ninjas and all.
It turns out, the ninjas had secret survailance on Jirr and Raquel. The ninjas envied the pirates and conspired to steal their treasure, the tacos.
Jirr and Raquel were not going to go down without a fight. "We are better than them. Life is so much better for us. We have better haircuts,**" said Jirr. Raquel agreed, and the fight was on. After much battling with swords, canons, Indiana Jones whips, and Moonraker lasers, the ninjas were losing severely. And the tacos seemed safe, but not for long.
One of the Moonraker lasers had a short in it, and it caught a pile of eyepatches on fire, which subsequently set the whole ship ablaze. "Oh, no!" screamed Jirr and Raquel. "The Truancy!" They were losing their beloved ship. They realized there was no saving it, but they could save the tacos, and that's just what they did.
Jirr and Raquel grabbed all the tacos they could, which happened to be all of them, and jumped onto the ninja ship, Jackie Chan. Jirr expertly sailed the Jackie Chan back to friendly waters.
A month later, after receiving an insurance check due to the loss of the Truancy, Jirr and Raquel opened a chain of taco restaurants called, but what else, "Pirate Taco."
The End (of the worst story ever written)
* - courtesy of Smack
** - courtesy of Gaughan
Last night, Rachel kept yelling at the TV and calling the History Channel a liar. Apparently, Walt Disney didn't die before Disneyworld opened? Yeah, I'm thinking the same thing. Rachel, what is wrong with you?
The boys next door have a Slip 'N' Slide. I'm jealous. I want one, too.
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