A pillow that is always cold: No more flipping it over when it gets hot.
Classic Nickelodeon: a television channel with all that crap I used to watch when I was little. Inspector Gadget, Salute Your Shorts, Legends of the Hidden Temple, David the Gnome, etc.
The Office Themed Monopoly: Boardwalk would be replaced with Chili's and instead of money, we'd all have phone cards, and everyone would drive a different colored Sebring convertible
Giant Legos so I could make a fort in my backyard (I guess they would just be bricks...)
A t-shirt that says "Pirates > Ninjas"
Adult Sit'N'Spin
Socks with labels: one says "L" for left, and the other says "R" for right. This helps to make certain that the same sock is always on the same foot, thus assuring that the sock forms to that foot and that foot only. It provides optimum comfort.
Shortness as a handicap: The short people of America, i.e. me, deserve certain rights and privileges since we cannot reach things on high shelves and must stand on chairs. A parking sticker or monetary compensation would be nice. I hear that this is already being implemented in Texas. The rest of the country should follow suit.
Not visiting the Middle East. Unless you want to die.
The importation of European candy to the United States: Let's face it; European candy, English candy in particular, tastes better than United Statesian candy. We should get to share in that goodness. I want to be able to go to Wal-Mart and buy a mint Aero bar. But I can't.
Abolition of 8 a.m. classes: No one wants to get up that early. Not even the professors.
The ability to spit in colors: I don't know why I would want this; it just seems like it could entertain me on a boring day.
Radio stations that play decent music: No more "My Humps." No. I want something good. And don't even think about saying "Maroon 5."
The ability to completely block out unwanted or annoying noise: I'm not just talking about drifting off into your own thoughts. It's more of a selective deafness.
Fat-free food that doesn't taste like utter crap: I firmly believe that fat equals flavor. Find a way to where no fat equals flavor. I don't want to be a chubby bunny, but I also don't want to eat cardboard.
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